Porky's II: The Next Day (1983, Bob Clark)

PORKY'S II: THE NEXT DAY
At no point in "Porky's II: The Next Day" does Ms Ballbricker climb from over the top of what is apparently a toilet cubicle suspended in an infinite white void as "the gang" look on like a bunch of smug shits.

What the fuck were they thinking?! Doing a sequel to Porky's without any sex! The idiocy! Look at my equation:

Porky's - Sex = 0

There! That proves there is nothing left after Porky's is robbed of it's smutty, racy humour. But what you will find out watching Porky's II: The Next Day is that without sex, Porky's II is just all the preachy "tolerance" we learned with the Jewish kid in the first movie stretched out to (very unfunny) full-length. You will also learn it doesn't matter if it takes place "the next day" or the next year - the whole thing is totally incongruous with the first film. Kids from the previous day (film) are nowhere to be seen, the kid who got the shit kicked out of him and ended Porky's on crutches, is totally fine here. And, oh yeah, all the kids are gearing up for a big Shakespeare adaptation on stage at school that they are so into, they are willing to actually fight the radical racists who try to stop the performance. Christ, remember that in the first film? When they were all spying on the girls' showers, then Tommy Turner stuck his penis through a hole in the wall, and Ms Balbricker pulled it from the other side? Remember them talking about the big play they're doing in a few nights?

I mean what the fuck, I don't think they even play basketball in this one. What were they thinking? I don't want to see "the gang" working together as a tolerant bunch and toppling oppressive figures in society. The fundamental principle of their revenge in Porky's, was derived from not getting laid at his nightclub.

I will probably, in time, think of something nice to put here. Some deeper analysis. But I just hate this thing so much.

Watch "Porky's Revenge" for a more fun sequel.

Here's the UK video cover, complete with a "toilet" backdrop